Ladies and Jelly Spoons
author unknown
Ladies and jelly spoons,
I come before you, to stand behind you, to tell you something i know nothing about.
Next Thursday, the day after Friday - there will be a ladies meeting for men only.
Wear your best clothes if you haven't any, and if you can come please stay home.
Admission is free, you can pay at the door,
We'll give you a seat, so you can sit on the floor.
Hmmmm your thinking that's an odd one... what do i say about that exactly. Well fear not my few and dutiful readers.... I shall explain.
Firstly, i learned the poem as a young ankle biter... from my mother? Or maybe it was at school. Either way, it's been in my head ever since (it's very crowed at this point, so this blog can catch some of the overflow.)
Secondly, it always reminds me of Charlie.
Who's that?
Well, my Mum and I lived with him thru many years of my annoying, bratty little blond headed youth. He was her friend since way back when... (he was old enough to be a Grandfather to me...) and we all needed a place to live... so we joined forces! Probably a decision he would come to question MANY times in the years to come... But moving on. ....
So there I am at the kitchen table, breakfast is upon us and i reach with my tiny little kid hand for the jelly. Mmmm concord grape, my favorite. Toast laying warm and delightful on my plate... I take a knife and dig into the jar for some jelly. Charlie, eyes wide yelled, "What ARE YOU DOING???" - "Huh?" I squeaked. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE JELLY????" - "You can't HACK at it with a knife, you have to use a spoon!!! - You'll chop it all up into liquid, do want to drink the jelly????"
Needless to say I was startled, knife clutched in my quivering hand... once i survey the situation I said, "But i don't want big gobs of jelly on my toast... i only like a little, I'll get to much if I use spoon." He was unimpressed with my explanation and reasoning, and the state of the jelly.
I'd like to say I learned my lesson.... that I never hack at the jelly anymore... and I listened to my elder.... and he was so very wise and I owe him a debt of gratitude for mending my jelly abusing ways....
But I don't want to tell a lie.
I use a knife to this day, slightest little glint in my eye, as i hold the knife up towards the heavens and smirk ; pouring my jelly onto my toast - delighted with myself.
* as a footnote I should say that I liked Charlie a lot... we fought a lot over the years, not only because of jelly, but also because i was a kid, and talked too loud... and had noisy friends.... But at the end of they day, I'm glad i had the chance to grow up with him, and he play an awesome guitar!
To Chuck, I raise my jelly spoon to you, but I'm still gonna use the knife. :)
